The Art of Monopoly
by chill guy
Summary: When a mysterious package arrives on Naruto's doorstep, he opens it to find a board game and... a snake plushy? The next phase of his training begins! Learn to bankrupt all who oppose him and master the world of... Monopoly.


**A/N - Well everyone, this is gonna be my first attempt at a Naruto fic. I'm starting this project hoping to get over a case of writers block I was plagued with and I think the results are good. I mean it's MONOPOLY the world's most popular board game lol. Anyway though I'm done with this note, hope you all enjoy.**

**The Art of Monopoly**

Rich Uncle Pennybags said, "Ding ding ding ding ding! Its Monopoly time bitches!"

God have mercy on us all.

* * *

It was sunny in Konoha. The birds were chirping and there was a light breeze. Little children were frolicking through the streets. All in all, the day couldn't have been shittier for one Naruto Uzumaki. 

Gloomily walking through the leaf village streets Naruto reflected on the events of the last couple hours.

'I swear to all that is holy when I find ero-sennin I'm gonna go KYUUBI on his ass!'

The day had started relatively well, all things considered. Naruto had gotten up and gotten ready, as usual, had gotten his morning ramen, as usual, and had gone to the hot spring to find Jiraiya and continue his training, as usual.

Unfortunately Jiraiya had considered that day's 'research' to be particularly valuable, and wouldn't have Naruto spoil it as was usual.

Covering the ground between them faster than Naruto had ever seen him move, Jiraiya proceeded to pick him up and toss him into the women's spring, but not before snatching his wallet of course.

The results had been, well, what one would expect to happen when a male comes flying into a hot spring full of _beautiful, naked_ kunoichi.

Naruto was beaten within an inch of his life, and promptly thrown back _out_ of the spring.

Finding Jiraiya gone and thus having no direct way to vent his anger, Naruto had decided to go to Ichiraku's and drown his misfortune in ramen, only to discover the depth of Jiraiya's treachery.

Kyuubi had then decided to offer his opinion on the matter.

'**Damn…He played you like a straight bitch. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA'**

That last comment pushed him over the edge and caused him to promptly fall into the fetal position and sob for damn near half an hour, all the while people looking at him like he'd lost his mind.

When he'd finally collected himself, Naruto had decided to cut his losses and go home since he seemed to be having the worst luck in the universe today.

Elsewhere, a certain Seina Yamada sneezed.

* * *

Finally arriving at his apartment building, Naruto hurriedly walked up the stairs. 

'Just a little bit farther and I can lie down.'

Reaching his door, he noticed a package on the mat. Picking it up, he examined it. The package was rectangular in shape and fairly light. Shaking it he noticed a faint jingling sound.

'I wonder what's in this. Some kick ass jutsu with weapon accessories, perhaps?'

Retrieving his keys from his pocket, Naruto proceeded to open his door and walk inside. Locking the door behind him, Naruto kicked off his sandals and walked into his living room area. Sitting down on the couch, he opened his package.

Taking out the box that was on top, he looked at the cover.

MONOPOLY the world's most popular board game.

Squinting his eyes in real narutoesqe fashion, Naruto looked skeptical.

'If it's the world's most popular board game, how come I haven't heard of it?'

Naruto rubbed his chin in thought. 'Ero-sennin is supposed to be teaching me about this kinda stuff. If I didn't know about the world's most popular board game then that can only mean one thing…'

"THAT PERVERT BASTARD'S BEEN KEEPING SHIT FROM ME!"

Yeah that was it, ero-sennin must have been upset because of his eternal mission to disrupt his research and as a result the bitch had kept the WORLDS MOST POPULAR board game from him, hoping to make him look inept.

Unfortunately for him it seemed that Naruto had friends in high places…

* * *

"Kukuku, I wonder if Naruto-kun got my package?"

* * *

…and thus his grand scheme had been foiled. 

Checking inside the box for any further contents he discovered…

'A snake plushy? What the hell?'

Putting the plushy aside he opened the WORLD'S MOST POPULAR board game. On the inside of the box was a letter. Opening it Naruto read it's contents.

_Dear whoever is reading this,_

_If you are reading this letter then you have opened the WORLD'S MOST POPULAR board game. Know that many have tried to tame this game, and many have failed. Its powers are many, and coveted by all that know of it's existence, which is like everyone 'cause what dumbass doesn't know about the WORLD'S MOST POPULAR board game?_

'Damn you ero-sennin!'

_Anyway, by reading this letter you have begun a great journey, a great quest. Know that you along with seven friends will form a fellowship and ATTEMPT to tame the WORLD'S MOST POPULAR board game. If you succeed then you will have…shit, I dunno, played a board game for a really long time and probably tried to kill one of those seven friends more than once… but anyway know this…_

_There can only be ONE lord of the WORLD'S MOST POPULAR BOARD GAME. Only one that can bend the game to his will._

_Will it be you?_

_Good luck on your journey to mastery,_

_Rich Uncle Pennybags_

As Naruto opened the letter further, a black and white photo fell out. The picture was of a man with a mustache, wearing a tuxedo, holding a cane, and wearing top hat.

'Wow, from what this guy said this game must be really powerful. Ero-sennin should've known he couldn't keep this from me forever.'

'**I don't think you can handle this kit. Monopoly is some serious shit. I mean I've seen people _killed_ over it. Games have gone on for millennia; this bitch is the big leagues.'**

'Shut up furball! What the hell do you know!?

'**Hey I'll have you know I'm a motherfuckin' Monopoly master bitch! I run this shit. Me and the other bijuu, with the exception of Shukaku played this shit all the time. I'd own you!'**

'Hey! Nobody asked for your opinion!'

'**Yes you did'**

'No I didn't!'

'**Did too.'**

'Did not!'

'**Did too.'**

'Did not!'

'**Did not.'**

'DID TOO! HAHAHAHAHA! Wait…DAMN YOU!!!'

'**Yea definitely not ready…'**

* * *

Jiraiya was puzzled. The source of his puzzlement was a feeling of foreboding that for the life of him he couldn't shake. One question plagued his mind. 

Why?

He had no reason to feel like this, today had been great. For once he'd managed to stop Naruto before he had gotten the chance to disrupt his research. Hell, he'd even managed to snatch gama-chan and would soon be buying a lot of sake. The research itself had been complete and utter gold, and would likely lead to another best seller.

So why?

'I just know this has something to do with Naruto. That brat's always getting into some shit and I haven't felt this way since I fondled Tsunade and she _didn't_ beat me within an inch of my life all those years ago.'

He shuddered. Yes something was definitely wrong, the last time this had happened he'd ended up hanging off the Hokage monument by his…

'I gotta find Naruto!'

* * *

"Alright so when I pass go after making my way around the board for the first time, I collect two hundred dollars…"

* * *

'Where is he? Where is he? WHERE IS HE!!??' 

Jiraiya was getting frantic

"N-n-no, I…I won't let it happen again…I WON'T BE STRUNG UP AGAIN!!!!! YOU HEAR ME NARUTO!!!"

* * *

"Also after my first time around I can begin buying properties…"

* * *

He was foaming at the mouth now. 

"NARUTOOOOOOOOO!"

Make that foaming at the mouth _and _rolling around on the ground.

"Hey mister, are you looking for someone?"

Jiraiya looked up to see a small boy no older than five or six.

"Why yes, yes I am." He stated matter-of-factly

"Have you tried their house?" the boy said innocently

"…"

* * *

"NARUTO!" Jiraiya exclaimed knocking down Naruto's door. 

"MY FUCKING DOOR! WHAT THE HELL ERO-SENNIN!"

"Shut up! What shit have you gotten yourself into huh? HUH?" Jiraiya shouted.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?"

"DON'T YOU LIE TO ME, BITCH! I'VE HAD A BAD FEELING ALL DAY! I WON'T BE STRUNG UP AGAIN!!"

Naruto looked perplexed, "Strung up? What do you mean by that?"

Jiraiya looked ready to cry, "D-don't worry about it. Just tell me what you've done today."

Naruto looked at him angrily, "Well after you _knocked me into the women's hot spring _AND _stole my money_ I came home and found a package."

"What was in it?"

"THE WORLD'S MOST POPULAR BOARD GAME THAT I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT YOU BASTARD!" Naruto shouted.

Jiraiya looked shocked as Naruto's words dawned on him.

"Did you say THE WORLD'S MOST POPULAR BOARD GAME?"

Naruto nodded, "Did you really think you could keep it from me forever?"

Jiraiya didn't answer. Slowly, with deliberate movements he walked over to Naruto's couch. His fears were realized when he saw the box title.

MONOPOLY the world's most popular board game.

"Dear God, it's the one game."Jiraiya said with fear and respect.

"Yeah THE WORLDS MOST POPULAR board game." Naruto said quizzically

"Naruto, this is much more than the WORLD'S MOST POPULAR board game. This is **the **_one game_" Jiraiya whispered.

"I'm not following…" Naruto said eyes squinting.

"Sit down Naruto. I have a story to tell you."

-----

**A/N - Well thats the first chapter! I'd like to start off by giving big ups to Diamond Avatar for beta-ing this chappy for me. I'm sure alot of you know from experience how heated a game of Monopoly can get and I thought 'hey why not write a fic with monopoly? I mean it is the WORLD'S MOST POPULAR game' lol. I'll be drawing from my own experiences as well as my creative imagination for this, haha you'll love it.**

**Anyways tell me what you thought. hate monopoly? love it? TELL ME! REVIEW! haha. Well I'm out.**

**much love - chill guy**


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